Styling the Polo

When I was getting psyched up for my new job, I was operating under the assumption that there was no dress code other than "business casual". Shock and horror when policy change resulted in, what else? A business casual uniform. Bleck. Fortunately I have options: either I wear an itchy flame retardant grandpa-sweater over pretty much anything but jeans (which I flipping love! no sarcasm or anything!) or I wear a black polo shirt.

Seeing as I have five polo shirts and only one fugly sweater, I need to start using the polos more:

Option 1: The casual side of business casual.

Option 2: Ladylike sophisticated.

Option 3: Funky / Artsy / Might have had a few when I made this...but I love it!

All sets via

Blue Skies

There is one thing to be said about my hour long commutes...

The view doesn't suck. 

My first day at my new job was Wednesday, and I have been coming straight from downtown to my theatre job on the north side, and then passing out when I get home. We're currently in previews, but I'll be so glad to get the show on the road so I can come home occasionally. Fortunately I've had stunning Chicago skies and new-job jitters to keep me happy...

Last Day

Amidst the excitement of my new job and making plans for my next year in Chicago, I forgot that I will also be saying goodbye to my food service job that I started on Valentine's Day. Although I'm beyond excited to ditch wrapping burritos and waking up at the crack of dawn, I know I'll miss seeing the co-workers that have gotten me through my first year in Chicago. Their humor, advice, and camaraderie really eased me in to Chicago and lit the fire under me to create a better future for myself.

Tomorrow I'll get my paycheck, say goodbye, and probably celebrate by unceremoniously going grocery shopping and eating some of my stock piled frozen custard from Ollie's. My new chapter begins on Wednesday.

How Firm Thy Friendship

The season opener for the Buckeyes is today! But here in Chicago there are few flags being flown and even fewer people shouting "O-H!" at each other. I'm inside all day for the commencement of tech week and I'm just the slightest bit home sick for my Buckeye friends. I came to the realization yesterday that with this new job I won't be eligible for vacation time for six months...March. I hope to have the parade of visitors I had this year, and even more hopeful that some new ones can make the trek. They will be rewarded with museum visits and the best places to get breakfast and pizza in Chicago!

Making me even more homesick is the fact that I won't be going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year since I work the day before and day after. I know I'll make it work since so many others in the city manage to, but images of me sitting alone in a studio apartment watching families from my window pile in to their cars Christmas morning to go to Grandma's are haunting me at the moment.

Viking has a theory of my living in the future too much and not enough in the present. So in the spirit of his often wise words, I'm going to celebrate the Buckeyes playing Miami today by wearing my loudest gear and maybe going to McGee's for a beer. I'm happy that tech week is finally beginning and that I have a job that pays me enough to put down some roots and start looking for an apartment. I know I'll see everyone soon enough!

Everybody's Working

I have some good news for this blog: I got a job! A full time with benefits, 9-5, pays me enough to live off of big girl job! I am beyond thrilled, since I thought I would only get some part time seasonal work out of the application and it turned out to be a full fledged entry level job that can lead me to so many other careers. I squealed, then called my mom and she squealed, I put in my two weeks at my food service job and then exhaled deeply for the first time in a long time. My status in Chicago is no longer one big giant question mark and the apartment hunt can begin.

The two more vain developments in my life is that I don't have to wear a uniform, and I can wear nail polish all week long!

Photo Via

Of course I don't know what dress code is quite yet, but for now I can dream!

P.S. Do you think that peter pan collar tee would run away with me? So gosh darn cute!

The Beans

When I read blogs, I feel slightly miffed when the writer goes AWOL only to return with a vague explanation like "I'm fine! Bump in the road but all is well!"

Come on lady, spill the beans! Of course now having had my own "bump" I can understand the hesitation. Suffice to say, I've been having some issues with my employment, which I keep you all constantly updated on, along with the new challenge of looking for an apartment and/or roommate and deciding what I want to do in Chicago next.

The good news is I think things are looking up. Regardless of how this week turns out for jobs, apartments, and such, I'm going to take a deep breath and make another plan. I also had a rather colorful weekend to balance out all the stress and forced me to put things in perspective. Don't you love it when I good weekend does that?

I also managed to complete my first goal on my 24 Before 25 List! Stay tuned for gratuitous pictures and gushing.

Reach

I stayed up most of last night with a sore throat and chest pains nibbling on colby jack slices and beefing up my Pinterest for a few hours...until four in the morning to be exact. This sudden inability to sleep was driven by panic, and the panic was being steered by my life which has become out of my control in the past couple weeks. The moment I think that I have something lined up, it's intercepted and I'm back at square one.

For instance, Running Buddy, who was my intended roommate for next year, has decided not to live in Chicago anymore but instead return to our mutual home-base to be closer to her family. I can hardly blame her. Once she explained her intentions I was sobbing on the phone to my own mother: "should I come home?!" I'm sure my dad was jumping up and down enthusiastically in the background, but nonetheless Mom listened patiently while I vented my frustrations about being over-worked, under-paid, and without a plan for the future or a roommate to share it with. Ultimately I know it will be best for my theatre career if I stick it out here, but as of last night the worst of premonitions started creeping in to my head.

What if I can't find a full time job? What if I have to rent a shoe-box studio apartment for premium cash? What if I can't pay rent at all? What if I never make it any farther than I am now in theatre? What if I never define a clear enough path for myself to make goals? What if I never get to do the other wonderful things in life that I want to do?

Even typing this out it doesn't feel freeing. It sits on my shoulders, makes my mind race and my chest bind. I'm no stranger to anxiety but it's uncontrollable, slipping in whenever I try to think about my next move. My life will be full of choices. Will the anxiety ever cease? Or just lessen over time...

Despite my inherent reaction to lay down on the floor, the only course is action. In six months, hopefully, this will only be a memory and everything will be working out in the best possible of ways. Until then, if anyone needs a roommate, a co-worker, a friend, someone to give soothing advice to, a low key Saturday night buddy, or someone who loves to get ice cream and IPAs with: I'm your girl.

Adult Choices

A pre-dinner walk turned in to a hike to find the Lake Shore bike path, and before I knew it I was two miles away from the apartment and in need of some distraction from my achy sad feet. I called E and we gabbed about the usual: work, schemes to visit each other, and her brother's upcoming wedding. Houses, marriage, and kids seems weirdly close and yet so far...mostly far as I still work a daytime job that pays minimum wage. "I guess you have to decide what you want." she assessed. I have one job that doesn't feel like work I love it so much, but is it enough for me to put up with another job I hate and being broke all the time? I have other dreams that I want to accomplish.

When I decided to become a theatre major, there was the ultimate choice of "doing what I love every day for little money" or "giving up a career I love to have a comfortable life." It's easy to put off making that choice in college because, dammit, theatre is just the greatest! But once graduation came I was faced with the choice head on and still don't know that right answer for me.

I know a handful of people who graduated and knew instantly that they'd rather make money and live comfortably than make theatre their full time career. In the other camp are those who are perfectly content holding down a flexible yet financially unfulfilling daytime job just to get to do what they love in the evenings. It's not impossible to have a full time career in theatre, but for most of the people I work with a supplemental job is required to pay the rent. I realize that this is obvious to most, but when I moved to Chicago I didn't have a clue.

My hope is that I will work through things as they come and make the right choices for me while still keeping the future in mind. Recently I had to make a very tough decision regarding that future: I had to give up a theatre job. I was scheduled to work with the same fantastic company I'm currently with and I had to turn them down. Luckily they understood my predicament. 'It's a shame that money has to play so much in to this' they remarked.

The goal right this minute is to find a great-paying day job so I can continue to do and see theatre in the evening. I think it would be downright un-spirited to not give Chicago and my theatre career all the hard work and chances that it deserves, but I know I'll be running up against more walls like this in the future where I have to make a tough choice. If it all pans out, who knows? Maybe I can jump right back in to theatre after Christmas time, but for now my daytime job situation needs to be worked on.

This Time Last Year...

Are you where you thought you would be this time last year?

This time last year I was working for the zoo, teaching children's theatre and working with a sketch comedy troupe, all while living in my parent's house in the bedroom I grew up in. When I fantasized about my life in Chicago I had a few things in mind...

I would have a great apartment in the city...we'll give this one a check.

I would be working in theatre...we can check this one too

Buuuut I also thought I would have a full time job that payed me well enough to take care of not only the bills but ever so slightly feed my clothing and adventure habits. I want to admit this to the blogosphere because when I moved to the city I thought all of my friends were self sufficient and I was in the minority scrambling to catch up. Since moving I realized that there are plenty of 20-somethings that are struggling to make it all work which makes me feel far less alone. The part that caught me most by surprise is that I'm not the only one getting help from my parents. 

I've always paid the apartment bills myself, but my new driver's license and plates? Parents. New summer clothes? Parents. Gas/food to visit Ohio? Parents again. I can not do everything that I want to on my own. I'm fortunate enough to have parents that want to help and don't see it as a burden, but I want to be able to support myself, which is why it's re-appeared on my 24 Before 25 list this year. 

I guess my point is that right out of college you might struggle, and through your struggle you will ultimately get frustrated, down on yourself, and question the smart capable person that you thought you were when you were still in school. But don't give up, and know that you're not all by yourself. Chances are the schmo sitting next to you lives with their parents or has their rent paid by their sweet grandmother. It doesn't make them any less intelligent or hard working, and that certainly goes for you too.

Birthday Outfit Deux

Lest we forget June is my birth month! I'm already planning what treats to take in to work and the theatre and what kind of things I'd like to do when Mom comes to visit. So far I have drinking, cake-making, and a potential 5k at Pride Fest on the books. Not too shabby, eh? And of course there's the outfit. Still haven't narrowed it down in the slightest. I'm hoping that I'll come across it and be in awe of its style and price...or I'll just pull something out of my closet. Either way you can rest assured that I'll be wearing clothes, which is Viking's favorite answer to give when I ask what I should wear: "How 'bout clothes?" Thanks.

Speaking of clothing, I've been slowly chipping away at my 24 before 24 list and have now decided that most of it is just going to have to roll over on to 25 before 25. To be fair I made this list in January, a mere 5 months away from my birthday so I didn't have the full year. Wah wah wah, I know...

22. Shop my closet and wear all of my clothes. If I don’t, I have to donate it at the end of the season.

When I can't think of anything to do in the evenings and it's too dark for a walk to my favorite lake (Michigan that is) I go through my closet and start trying on clothes. It seems silly to have a whole closet, dresser, and clothing rack full of clothes that I hardly ever wear. My job choices are to blame...the theatre would prefer that I wear all black (which I am getting seriously tired of doing because I'm running out of options here) and food service which requires a very specific type of jeans OR a very specific shade of khaki AND a very specific kind of undershirt. For the most part those rules are flexible but I know I'll be the idiot that messes it up when they do a store report, sporting my orange jeans or some nonsense, which I have!

In any case I've completed closet and clothing rack try-ons, all I need to do is go through my dresser drawers and I'll be able to scratch number 22 off the list! A vaguely productive week indeed!

Following

Unbeknownst to me I have a small readership that extends outside of my family. And here I thought I was just posting pictures and pretend outfits for my mom! A co-worker specifically informed me of his reading it and my knee jerk reaction was: "I am so embarrassed!" But what reason is there to be embarrassed? I obviously post it online for the whole word to see, and when I look at my page views I know it's more than just a couple people...but it seems strange. In any case it made me very aware of the fact that I haven't posted anything about my theatre job in a while, with the exception that we went in to tech a couple weeks ago.

But as it happens, some ridiculousness happened last night that I thought was share-worthy:

Everything seemed to be humming along as usual. As the stage manager I get there first, start up the light and sound board, check props, re-fill antique coke bottles with diet soda. The ASM arrives and we start doing channel check, or checking all the lighting instruments to see if they work:

"Can you bring up 34 again? I can't see it..." Two lights have blown. "Okay, I'll make a note of that, channel 35?" It goes up and the light fizzes out. I call the lighting designer who is working on another show, and then the director who is also busy that evening. Luckily a stage manager from the previous show is in our cast and she scoots up the ladder to see what she can do. Soon after arrives another actor who works for a tech company and he follows suit and starts changing lamps (bulbs are "lamps" in theatre. Do not say bulb to a lighting designer!) 20 minutes and a shower of corrosion later we're showing the understudy how fight call works and everything starts to fall in to place.

Around the second act we have a waiter who comes on with a cocktail made of Hawaiian Punch...I think you know were this is going. Actors collided backstage and the fruit punch ended up all over the waiter's white shirt/black pants combo and the white cloth napkin. Being the consummate professional he went on like nothing happened, but I think it shook everyone a bit. We consoled each other over drinks across the street and are thinking that tomorrow will be more dynamic.

Where is my mind

I had every intention of putting up a blog post about my weekend with the Viking before he went back to Cleveland. We had many small adventures and lots of movie watching/delicious food making. And of course I got my camera out for some great pictures, but low and behold can not find my USB cable. Actually, I had a panic attack moment where I forgot what a USB cable looked like entirely. I sat on the floor, completely defeated and scowled at my dresser...how could I forget what that looks like? Two days later I still can't find it, although I'm pretty sure I know what it looks like now.

In other news the show I'm stage managing is in previews #ohmygodmyfirstchicagoshow! This of course means that I have less time to write blog posts...but rest assured that I'll want to tell you all about the weekend with Viking (when I find the rascally USB cable!) and tell you how NATO goes...to give you a hint my place of business is moving their patio furniture out just in case chairs get thrown through the windows...oh yeah.

B-Face

I had a big ole' post orchestrated, but after working all day and trudging through the rain torrential creek that is my neighborhood, and downing a beer I didn't feel much like finishing it. Work was fun, the rain was romantic, but something ticked me off first thing today.

When I get asked repeatedly "are you okay?" when nothing it outwardly wrong it sets something off in me. "No buddy, I just have perma-bitchface. I don't walk around smiling like an idiot!" Also, anyone telling me: "smile!" I'm an excellent customer service-woman, but a male customer told me that once and I asked him politely (and with a smile on my face): "am I giving off that much negativity?" For whatever reason this did not upset him, in fact came back the next day to apologize. He's a regular customer and still remembers me as the cashier that gave him what for, in a very friendly way of course.

I guess there's something to be said for honesty with customers, especially when it gets them to see you as a human being and not just the robot that makes their lunch....but that's a whole other rant.

Photo via

P.S. when you type "bitch face" in to Google Images search "Megan Fox" comes up as a related search. Don't laugh at that.

Summer Plans

Well, if my Foursquare activity is any indication I'm in a rut. Train station - Work - Train Station - Oh! Grocery Store! - Theatre - Train Station. With tech week approaching I'm finding less time to blog about my experiences because I'm not really having many. The highlight of my week for the past three weeks was trucking to see the Viking, but now that he's approaching finals it's less of a possibility, especially since he'll be going back to the Land of Cleves for a bit in May and then off to Russia in June.

This isn't to say that I don't have things to look forward to. For example Mama Morgan has announced that she'll be visiting me for my Birthday! Hopefully we can work something out where I can go see my grandparents for a few days in Iowa as well.

Next on the agenda will be the two week extravaganza where I bid Chicago adieu and take off to see E in her new home in Atlanta, Georgia. Getting to see Erin and also getting to cross "Go somewhere I've never been before" off my 24 before 24 list...or as it will appear in July my 25 before 25 list.

And mid-July I'll be coming for C-Bus! Crossing everything off my "food I miss" (I'm looking at you Jets and Jeni's) and seeing some framiliar faces!

Made my day better already!



Catch Up

Last night the festival of ten minute plays I was assistant stage managing ended. I severely underestimated the awesomeness of working on a festival of plays that only lasts six days. You're getting to work with a new company and you come in to contact with all kind of different artists in terms of directors, actors, stage managers, etc. The sad thing is you only really get to know everyone at the cast party when you're saying "so long".

I had an experience like this in Ohio working on a comedy festival, but it's different since all the troops go back to their homes (and I didn't have to get on stage and be made a fool doing a Monty Python dance number.) Here, everyone is still a Chicagoan. There's a chance I might get to work with everyone again, which would be lovely!

But now that the festival is over I can focus on stage managing a full length production for a company very close to my apartment. My friend has been substituting for me this past week so my first rehearsal with the cast is this Saturday for a photo call and blocking the second half of the show (blocking = stage movement/choreography I only realized that not everyone knows what this means when talking to Dad.)

So I'm a one show woman ya'll, and it feels fantastic! Hopefully now I can get back on track with writing, running, and cleaning my gross room. You couldn't tell by the garment rack pictures because I shoved everything out of the way, but I still have a trash bag of tops to put away and a pile of bikinis to sort through...ugh.

Style Anatomy: House Manager

For the most part I consider myself a frustrated stylist, or at least that's what Carmindy on What Not to Wear used to tell women who dyed their hair constantly or put on too much make-up. There is no daily occasion where I need to wear a nice outfit, my last four jobs have all required a polo or t-shirt as uniforms, but I like to acquire nice pieces for my own personal style.

Recently I've been able to flex my stylist muscles at my house management job and it's had an extremely positive impact on my self esteem. Not only to I feel great and look authoritative (yet approachable), but I get good response from the cast, ushers, and crew. One actress in particular stops to look at what I'm wearing before she goes to get ready for the performance. It makes me blush every time since she is so well put together.

This is what I wore to house manage in yesterday.

A few of the ushers have made the comment: "most house managers look like they've been living under ground" or "are you in the performance? You look more like an actor than a house manager." But I take pride in looking stylish. It's not like me to show up to work or an event too casually dressed without any make-up on. Until yesterday that is...

I was in a cleaning frenzy, and I realized too late that I had an interview in ten minutes and not a stitch of make-up on my face or an outfit planned for the interview. I put on some standby clothes and ran out the door.

I snapped this picture when I came home (I spy a Chipotle bag and a bra!)

I made it to the interview on time but was nervous. It was a plain outfit to say the least, and I hadn't had the time to cover my dark circles or even put on lip balm. My interviewer was unfazed and I got the job! Which made me think, are there really different expectations for the appearance of actors and the appearance of theatre management? Is it hurting my chances of being taken seriously when I wear a trendy outfit and a full face of make-up? Come to think of it, all the women I've interviewed with have been bare faced and wearing jeans, and the men wear baseball caps and t-shirts.

Maybe the days of getting dressed up for the theatre are over.

But if I schlepped around ripped up jeans and unkempt hair I don't think I would be staying true to myself as a frustrated stylist. When I get dressed up it's me I'm putting out there, which is the best reassurance of my credentials I feel.

So I will try my darnedest to post more house management outfits, trendy or not, and thank you for allowing me to share my passion for style with you.

Cry Baby

I came back to the apartment whining again.

I had broken a wine glass in the sink this morning which got me off to a bad start. While at work I did well the first half of the day but got unjustifiably frustrated with a new trainee for screwing up orders and then spilled I spilled hot chili all down my side from shoulder to shoe. Yup.

But I was talking to the trainee about how "this is my day job and I do theatre in the evenings..." and it dawned on me that it was the same speach I used to give when I lived in Ohio: "I work here part time during the day, but I do theatre at night and I'm going to move to Chicago in the fall."

It sounded much better than: "I'm a 23 year old woman with a college degree and I'm not really sure what I'm doing with my life right now. I'm positive that I'm smart and talented enough to figure it out, but right now I'm working for minimun wage."

Roommate poked fun that when I was in the depths of jobless-ness depression I used to complain that I'd work any job as long as they'd pay me! I needed the money to live, and while that's still true, I see now that I need a career that I love to be satesfied.

7.) Be happy and self sufficient in my employment. 

Being a free-lancer in theatre means that the job hunt is never really over, so here we go again.

Getting Polished

Orientation for my new job was last week and as you might know it's in food service (crack theatre/food service joke here please). They were going over dress code, hair up, hat on, personal hygiene, blah blah blah, and no nail polish. No what?!

I've worked in food service before but I'd always managed to get out of taking off my polish. At the pizza place I answered phones and cashiered the majority of the time. At the bubble tea cafe I was an assistant manager so I rarely prepped the food.

"What about acrylics?" I ask.

"No." says my general manager.

"What about gel manicures? They're safe for nurses."

"No, your natural nails are just fine."

Except they're not!. The winter has made them peely, soft, and easy to rip off, not to mention my preoccupation with biting them when I'm stressed. I need nail polish to cover that up and help my nails grow. My giant make-up bag of polishes: What will become of them? Are they doomed to sit in my bathroom cabinet forever? What about my Artist-Self (that I've been ignoring lately). She loves sparkly, bright, bold nail polishes to go with her spunky, fun and stylish outfits!

Since the restaurant isn't open Saturdays and Sundays I can wear polish on weekends. So today I came home from work and realized that I have a whole two and a half days to wear nail polish!

It's Lucerne-Tainly Look Marvelous from OPI. Kind of a sparkly gun metal shade that goes with everything and will be easy to take off on Sunday night.

But when it comes down to it I'd much rather be employed that wearing funky nail polish...I guess.

Doing anything fun with your nails this weekend?